Nobody tells you this will be hard...

But it is...at least for me. I have a small bag of keepers, onesies I just can't part with for sentimental reasons, and a large bag of more generic clothes to share with future moms. It's thunder storming here, the first time in months, and odd for October. Just like the day Neil was born. It feels strange to be nostalgic for such a fleeting and short time, but there it is. Motherhood I guess. Really it's just a tiny bitter moment wrapped up in a whole lot of sweet. I'm looking forward to every day I get to spend with my little (bigger) boy. Goodbye NB!

One October Walk

Holiday Conversation

I had a conversation with Neil today. I felt like I needed to tell him what to expect from the upcoming holidays.

For instance, Halloween, Neil, since this is your first, goes something like this. You get to dress up in a costume, and you can be anything you want. Except this year, because you are a baby, you can't decide for yourself. So we've decided that you will be a chipmunk. Because that's what you look like. And don't worry, we will go to a pumpkin patch and get a nice big pumpkin...and carve a face on it...because that's what we do.

Next comes Thanksgiving. And that's when we all sit about and eat. We eat turkey and mashed potatoes and we get real full and talk. Maybe you can have some sweet potatoes for Thanksgiving this year. And of course grandma is going to want to watch the parade with you...it's a bunch of balloons going down the streets of NYC. It's the best city. Man. You have a lot to learn...but don't worry. You'll see, in your pj's. It's what we do.

And then after that is Christmas, and we'll dress warm and go get a tree. You see, we bring a tree inside and put lights on it and decorate it and we put lights on the house too. And it will snow, but me and Aunt Rebecca hope it snows in November. But not October. Too many leaves. And we will tell you that there is this fat man that comes down the chimney with toys for good boys and girls...and he flies through the air on the sleigh with the reindeer and.....we eat cheese out of a pot the night before. On Christmas Eve, this is what we do...

....

I started cracking up. I couldn't continue. Not because I was running a dialogue with a 3 month old, but because our traditions and stories are just so out of this world funny. I imagined Neil taking notes, uh huh, uh huh, what next? I imagined a seasoned child giving me a skeptical look. I thought of how ridiculous these stories, steeped in tradition, might seem to an outsider, a noob...and I giggled. To a child, a baby, shit's about to get real.

For the rest of us, it's just what we do.

Dr. Bad Guy

Neil, Colin and I just had a four month check up at the pediatrician, and I can't seem to shake off the visit. Neil is doing great. He is 11 lbs 12 ounces and 24" long...almost half as long as me! He has hit most of the four month milestones, though really, he's not quite four months yet. He was cooed at and gushed over by the pediatrician. He did fine. But mom had a bumpy ride. My hackles first went up during a conversation about crankiness. Neil is a consistently happy baby, but we went through a rough spot last week that was so uncharacteristic I wanted to mention it. The talk went something like this:

"Is he ever fussy or cranky?"

"Not usually, but last week he "

"oh! I forgot my stethoscope! I'll be right back."

The conversation was dropped and I didn't pick it up again. Which meant to me either Dr. didn't care or wasn't listening in the first place. And also, I should be more persistent if I want my questions answered.

The second ding occurred when Dr. was talking about transitioning to the crib and sleeping through the night. Dr. admitted to being "Dr. Bad Guy" and adheres to the belief that "no child can ever cry too much" when you are training them to sleep in the crib.

I disagree and it makes me sad.

I guess it's really no big deal that our methods of parenting don't jive. I'm not looking to Dr. Bad Guy for emotional support, just sound medical advice. But I wish that we were on the same wavelength. I wish we agreed on these types of things. I walked out of that office today with little red flags like sticky notes on my thoughts instead of the joyfulness that accompanies a successful well baby visit.

Maybe something needs to change.

I found my sunset spot

I love fall in upstate NY!

Adirondack Anniversary

Today we decided to take a little drive into the Adirondacks to celebrate our 6th anniversary. I heard it was snowing in the high peaks last night and it made me smile. I could just imagine the flakes softly floating down where only trees and animals could feel them. We drove in a loop in the southern hills, near Crane Mountain and Garnet Lake. On our journey we encountered two wayward horses...eager to plant their noses into our car and onto Colin's chest for a treat. We stopped for a few vistas and toasted Ubus over lunch at the Indian Lake tavern. You can see a little table in the picture below next to a fireplace. It was reserved for an older couple who had just buttoned up their cabin for the winter months and were on their way home to Queensbury. They too toasted (Chardonnay and lemonade)...and I thought they and this table were just so illustrative of the finer things in life...a little food, a little drink and a little company next to a cozy fire. What more really, could one ask for in October?

156&157

Sleepy Peepies

Daddy Time!

Sweet sleep